9 Foolproof Ways to Annoy and Irritate People

I am no expert at this. But still I encourage you to try all of the following at your VERY OWN risk =)


Ready, guys?


1) Scratch your nose up and down while staring at the person right in their face. You can smile occasionally, but is ONLY allowed to do so in a wicked way!



2) While standing in queue, get the attention of the one standing infront ("Excuse me!"), and ask for the time. Keep asking frequently until he/she gets mad. Don't appologize. Make sure you don't thank him/her at all, too.


3) Approach a complete stranger. Smile very broadly and say out loudly, "Hey, I know you. You are Jennifer, or Tom or Jerry or whoever (whichever name comes first). Tell him/her "we have been like bestfriends since kindergarden. Remember? He/she will probably frown but don't give up. Yell at your other friends (who will be near by) and say, "Hey guys, I have got my long-lost friend." If he/she clarifies that you have been mistaken, you make a sad face and tell your friends that "See, Sam! I told you he/she has been really fond of plastic surgery."



4) Pick the victim. Ask him/her for autographs, thrusting pen and paper at him/her. Just be very loud and make up an excuse like, "Hey, you are the singer/artiste/novelist or whoever. Can I have your autograph. Please. Please. Please. In the VERY LIKELY case of the person getting mad, and denies irritatedly, you just tell him/her "If you knew you are not the one at the beginning, why did you waste both of our time." You be and sound irritated yourself and walk away saying out loud, "God! Some people disgust me."


5) When you go to shops, just bring all your stuff to the counter. Smile politely to the cashier. When he/she starts cashing in, half-way through you just say, "Um, I have changed my mind. May be some other day." Leave the stuff with the cashier to be put away, come back after like a minute and say you have changed your mind again. You can reapeat this game of to-buy or not- to-buy as many times as you like.


6) When sitting at a place like mamak with your friends, spot a person when they are looking at you. Whisper something secretly to your friend, all the while watching that person. Laugh out loud later (still staring at the person) as if cracking a joke. Be evil while you pull this off!



7) Pick a person randomly. Follow him/her wherever they go. If they sit down, you also sit down in the vicinity of that person. Make sure he/she knows you are following. If they look at you and make a face, you just frown as if he/she is mad. If they appraoch you and ask why are you following him/her, you just tell him/her, with a baffled expression, "What are you talking about?" or in a demanding and angry voice, "Prove it."



8) Approach a stranger from behind preferably with a wrapped gift of some kind. Yell in his/her ears, "Happy B'day" or "Surprize!" When he/she turns around, you just make your best shocked-face and say innocently, "Oh, no! You are not Luke/Liz. But you look awfully same as Luke/Liz from behind" and flee laughing. Repeat the same scenario with the same person at least two other loactions the same day, for BEST results.



9) Sit (with a bunch of friends) at a table near someone who is reading quitely. Forewarn your friends all to be very loud. Make sure you make lot of noise. Laugh out loudly at funny jokes. Yell at familiar faces walking around you. Drop stuff on the floor occasionally. If the person gives you a nasty look, you smile innocently and tell your friends loudly, "Look guys! She/he is mad."